The light

Discovering the light into a sea of shadows is a huge adventure:
getting lost anywhere also when you know where u are is something so usual for the travellers of life. I need a light to know my way, I need a key to open my doors, I need to be brave to face all the dungeons life give to me.

Is not kinda sacrifice, or I dunno feel lika sad boy, i only thing that I want to preserve my happiness and to fight for her; was so difficult to have it, that sometimes I am scared about loosing her, even if I pay all the attentions of the world, keeping an eye open every moment.
Ok, I won't be paranoid, it's a normal human fear that won't manage my life and my desires. sometimes it takes me from the feet and try to drag me down into the deepest darkness of the world, that's why I need a light every time. i won't get lost if i don't want to get lost, and I will always try to find a way out from sadness.
Today everything sounds a bit menacing.
My own sun will clean my own shadows.

A dream

I dunno that a dream could be real when you manage to do it with all your strenght: Yesterday we've been on a concert me and my B - was quite difficult to manage that she doesn't know nothing bout the concert and who's playing.. and someone somewhere, some fucking Big god choosen to don't let her know nuthin' bout the evening. Was a big surprise for her, and for the first time i saw her really without words.
Music and vibes could really create something special for people.
Makes us sick, happy and crazy!
That's what I love 'bout music: she speaks for you.
She can find the words and the way to say thing, and makes you feel stronger.
Can't do nuthin' without my music.

Ah one thing i forgot, B danced on mr Bungle's "California" - my favourite album ever! - and this thing makes me CRAZY!
How beautiful is that?!??!
'Slike a dream! As the one that became reality!

The tree

Was thinking that beautiful things can and must exists inside our normal life.





Today I bought a Bonsai to explain to B how our life could be.
A three has his own history and in the moment you buy it you buy also his own life.. from so on your life is behind it and you live with it! i love this thing: to be a part of someone life.
This is something I wanted to show to B, how the life of something can become important for your own life. how her life can become important for my own life.
One thing was fot in my mind, a bonsai is difficult to manage and is quite difficult to make it grow up.. something like love... difficult but amazing to manage!
I need every time to confirm to myself the beauty of my life.

We are what we want 2 B!

Destiny and choices

Tonight something weird happened.
B told me i was waking up telling her "I love you B, i love u so much!"..
Can't remember..
I was talking while I was sleeping. There is consciousness in sleep? What I was dreaming? The air in My hometown is hot, and is cooking my brain? (So we bought a wind maker in Iron. Was cold after that!) - Or i am simply getting lost anywhere in my love? Is crazy how your life could take a wave instead of another, choices are the basic turn point of the river of life.
I love that: no destiny, only choices!

But sometimes i cannot stop believing in destiny 4 example I was driving and listening with B to the Jeff Buckley's version of hallelujah, i thought We were living too fast and suddenly I drove the car to 20 km/h.
Every car was so fast and was even faster than us ( ok we were super slow). We reached the pay point ( i dunno the name in english - is the place where you pay once you took a big road).
I put my window down and there was a sticker on the paying point. what was wrote on it? "Va tutto bene" - Everything is fine.
Got crazy!

Island of soul

Ok, last post of the day... sounds like I am only posting:
I was thinking 'bout the existence of this blog, and the exsistence of many other blogs.. once nobody knows them, they are like a lost island in the middle of the sea, whose inhabitant is a crazy old man talking nonsense only by himself.
But there is something that amaze me in being discovered, and in leaving my thoughts through all the passing time..
Frozen on a monitor, waiting for some eyes.

'slike leaving a bottle in the middle of the sea, hoping that someone notice your thoughts.
Thoughts are like shadows, painted on the wall, trembling depending on my soul.

"I should say let's get lost, let's get discovered!"

Rising from my darkness

Sounds strange when You wake up from a bad dream. Many crazy things start to happen and you start to love simple things, Like in a soap shit movie, where usual thingz happen and marvellous events come one after the other:
Ok I LOVE MY LIFE, even if I am starting to forget how beautiful was the sky once i got out from the hospital, but a strange brightness still shine deep in my deep house, in my heart!
I think I brought this flavour on the things i am living, and everything became so simple after this unluckiness.
Life is changing, is true, one second you are fine, the next second you are not fine anymore. Balancing is the key. Breathing is the way. Being surprised is the land i am standing. The sun is jumping over the sea!

My B

Well, being in love is such an hard and soft struggle in the same time.
Life is complicated, sayd Unkle in the open track of "never never land". I dunno. i love to live, I love to be alive: i am not such a positive and loser motherfucker, I only thing that I am enough lucky to enjoy my life, and not to be in pain for it.
It depends on what are your expectations from your life: I want to live, love and listen to music.
Once I have those things I am fit with myself.
It's really really easy, normal and boring. but is what my life can be. And what I want to give to my life.
I m not losing expectation and desire, is only that I am more quiet, i am waiting, breathing air and living.
jesus, i think I am normally in LOVE!
She is my love, my B (B means betti - her name).

Here I am

What should i say once I can speak?
Words can be meaningless in front of reality and emotions. But I love to comunicate I need to do it and to spread my feelings. Hallo to everyone and well, if someone of you is from Sweden this is your change to hear some Crazy sounds.
ok i am a Dj... but not only a fucking dj...everyone deserves surprises!