Balancing

Life is a balance.
Between good and evil, nice and ugly, do or don't. A small earthquake and the balance get broken. Falling means calling, for help I mean; to come back to life. I hate this balance sometimes, it makes me feel unsure, scared about what can happen. It deep scares me to be honest. It takes away my optimism to become again a bit negative and dark. I hate those feelings, Feeling secure gives unity and power: the only sure thing now is my B, and my love for life in itself and 4 da muzik. That's all.
I am trying every day to be on the top of the hill and to never fall down... even when the earth's shaking and i feel like I am standing nowhere. Being lost nowhere is like being somewhere you can feel comfortable in desperation I think. Being in the darkness hides you and get you close to a small love for the sad things: I don't want it anymore! I need to smile, to get safe, 2B safe. I want 2B. Ok Is also something about struggling, fighting and surviving. Ok is something about living.
And my life is not balancing but choosing!
What else? I am protecting my life nowadays, I am keeping it on a straight line far from anything that can get bad things on her. It sounds like a huge contradiction to someone who said:"life is living" but is not a matter of living, is only a matter of breathing and feel quiet. I am not scared about suffering, I don't wanto to simpl suffer anymore for stupid things. Maybe I should accept that the loose of equilibrium can be also something that shakes your life, and in shaking it can gives you a new power.
The power of feelings.

"Hopelessly/I’ll love you endlessly/Hopelessly I’ll give you everything/But I won’t give you up/I won’t let you down/I won’t leave you falling/If the moment ever comes" The muse - Endlessly